Would I really be willing to put my life on the line to save another?

In a dream I had the other night a friend and I were being chased by a flesh eating Velociraptor. While it may sound ridiculous now that I’m writing about it, in my dream it was every bit heart-pounding and downright frightening. The friend wasn’t anyone in particular. I can hardly remember the face. I just accepted it was someone I knew. So as we were being chased out of a dense forest and down a hill towards rocky ruins I schemed to use my friend as a distraction while I escaped. I directed this friend towards an alleyway where I knew the creature would be waiting. My plan was as he was being ripped into shreds I could slip through and make back into the forest.

I awoke that morning feeling less impressed with myself.

But the point is, it did get me thinking. Am I really as altruistic and courageous as I picture myself to be? Would I put myself in harms way to save another? If I’m any bit like the personality in the dream – probably not.

… and I am sad. But why?

They are just fish after all and i just got them a few weeks ago. Plus its not like we created lasting memories or anything. In all reality it would be a simple trip to the local pet store to replace them.

Yet, I can feel that hidden despair deep in the pits of insides.

It’s because I gave them a name. I gave them identity. I am truly amazed how something as simple as that could have such a profound impact.

The Market Research Myth, the Truth about Consumers and the Psychology of Shopping.

It’s not the new rugged men’s jeans on the cover of the 2012 spring catalog by LL Bean that influences our purchasing tendencies. It’s more than that. It’s also the texture of the paper of the catalog, the crisp sound it makes as you turn the pages, it’s the scent of freshly printed ink, and it’s picturing oneself in those very jeans hiking along the Kennesaw Mountain National Park. At least according to the author of Consumer.ology — a term coined by Philip Graves to summarize the study of consumer behavior in today’s market.

Graves offers the compelling theory that our subconscious plays a larger, more influential role in our decision making. More so than even the cognitive, well intentioned, rational part of our brain. Whether it’s to purchase a new car or a white chocolate mocha at Starbucks our five senses pick up on hundreds of thousands of data bits per second of which only a fraction is brought into the forefront of our consciousness. And despite our best efforts, the subconscious – our primal and self-preserving mechanism – makes the ultimate, gut instinct decision for us. This is why we often have a difficult time explaining why we make the decisions we do. This is why consumer surveys and taste tests are not effective means of predicting consumer behavior. We artificially construct a rational explanation to accommodate self-perceptions. To put it bluntly – we lie to ourselves. Graves insist we have to dig deeper. We have to dig into the mind of a consumer and tap into the low-level, emotionally-based parts of our brain that are a true reflection of our behavior.

Business Impact

As a wedding and event photographer on the weekends, Consumer.ology has given to me a whole new insight to why my clients would choose to hire me and why they wouldn’t. It’s given light to why some clients would rather go to my competitor, who in terms of cost, quality, and product is undeniably inferior. If Philip Graves is worth his salt, then the way I’ve been doing business all this time has been fundamentally flawed.

My mistake is simply that I’ve been selling to the rational consumer instead of the emotional. Sure pricing is an important factor, but as Graves points out, the emotional triggers in our minds almost always trumps the rational. This answers the fact that people would spend five dollars for a cup of coffee at Starbucks when you can go elsewhere and spend a fraction of the cost.

After reviewing my competitor’s website and the way they’ve structured their portfolio how they write up their blogs it’s clear to me that they are doing something that I’m not: appealing  to the bride’s emotions. Their blogs elaborate in detail how beautiful their latest wedding shoot was. It’s written as a love story; one that almost seems like a fairytale – a story that a bride probably envisioned themselves in.

The prideful part of me has been humbled, despite my firm belief that I felt I knew what consumers wanted. I was convinced that they wanted clear, crisp photos with perfect lighting. They wanted photos with great composure and accurate colors. That they wanted products that presented their wedding day on professional grade paper intended to last for generations. That they also wanted their photos in digital format so they can share them on Facebook, on their smartphones, or their blog. And they wanted all of this at a very attractive price.

I’ve come to the revelation that there are two truths to be mindful of. First, brides really have no idea what they want. Secondly, I don’t know what brides want either.

If there’s anything I take away from Consumer.ology is that I need to start selling in such a way that it appeals to the emotions, not the conscious, rational bride. It’s obvious that I’m going to have to reinvent my marketing program.

Personal Impact

On a personal level, Graves – in less than 200 pages – has single handedly shifted my paradigm of thinking. This includes many aspects of my personal life – whether it’s the relationship with my wife, my friends, or even with my religion. Without diving too deeply in the arena of faith and spirituality I couldn’t help but to correlate the similar references Consumer.ology makes about consumers. That is – we are defenseless sheep that merely follow the herd. So too are we considered sheep in the Christian faith. I can’t help but to wonder if that despite the newness of neural marketing that religion has already understood this from the beginning. That to rationalize religion would be just as detrimental to our souls as it is truly understand it.

On a relationship level, I believe this book has expanded my framework of thought in handling various situations in life – whether it’s with my wife, a childhood friend, an acquaintance, a coworker, or even a complete stranger. It’s understanding the power of how a single word in a question can dramatically shift how I sell my ideas, my brand, and even myself to those around me.

I believe that Philip Graves’ Consumer.ology is a well written and truly insightful book. His theories of the roll of the subconscious explain quite gracefully why as consumers we make the decisions that we do. From a marketing standpoint it adds a whole new, deeper element in the landscape of consumer behavior and educates (if not altogether warns) us on the pitfalls of traditional techniques.

On a grander scale Consumer.ology is relevant to more than just business applications. Graves provides to us social behavior insights that could benefit everyone in everyday situations. After all, regardless of whether we choose to believe it or not, we are constantly selling ourselves to those around us.

A photo I took years ago of my friend Hope. This was shot at her beach condo just as sun was setting. I always thought it was weird she ate sushi with her fingers and not with chopsticks. Years later I watched a documentary on the history of sushi. Guess she was right all along.

Happy birthday, Hope! See? I didn’t forget.

These past few days I’ve seen three films. All of which follow the lives of everyday people and the struggles they face. What’s interesting about Asian films is they don’t necessarily have a concrete ending. Not everything is buttoned up, not everything connects, not everything is explained. If anything, it leaves the viewer to carry out the film to the imagination – and is something I’m learning to cope with.

The first film titled “Still Walking” is about a younger son who, after 15 years since his older brother died, visits his parents with his new wife (who was widowed with a 7ish year old son). It is a story about a Japanese family who is stricken with a past that clings on to each one of them ever so tightly that it’s tearing them apart from one another.

The second film, “A Beautiful Life” is a rather peculiar love story between a high profile business woman and an honest cop. Unbeknown by the woman, who goes through a series of failed relationships and causes her to drink excessively, the cop is always there to rescue her. In the end, at the lowest point of her life, she soon realizes that it’s the cop who she truly loves and is determined to find him again. When she finds him, she learns that he is suffering some dementia, a form of memory lost, and is progressively getting worse. He tells her to leave him. That he’d only be a burden to her. She decides to stay, they rekindle their love, marry, and even have a child — which really makes interesting considering his disease.

The final film, “Nobody Knows” is a about 4 children who are abandoned in a small apartment by their mother. The oldest, Akira, is a 12 year old boy who tries to keep the family together. It is a bitter story of reality and one that leaves you feeling utterly helpless. It tugged on my heart the entire time. I admit it made me very conscious of my own environment and how good I truly have it. The movie does not end in resolve. You could say the movie picks up in the middle of their story then pulls you through a 6 agonizing months as their situation worsens before pulling you out of it. Leaving you to wonder what becomes of them.

Despite the emotional roller coaster these movies carried me through, I thoroughly enjoyed all of them.